Deconstructing Feminism: A Reawakening of My Divine Feminine Energy

On a brisk day in the Fall of 2010, fate struck — I arrived to work scheduled to serve a private party for Gloria Steinem. As a waitress at Fred’s at Barney’s New York, celebrity clientele was the norm. Nevertheless, that afternoon was my first encounter with a prominent women’s rights activist. At the time, I was a senior at DePaul University and heavily entrenched in the critical, intersectional analysis of cultural and gender disenfranchisement. Awestruck by her unexpected presence, I do not remember much about the experience given my overwhelming excitement. 

My undergraduate and graduate studies thoroughly uncovered various gender inequalities. From historical prejudices to problematics of socialization to disproportional access to opportunity, it became empirically evident that my identity as a women left me at a societal disadvantage. 

As the data I uncovered revealed these truths, I started to feel as if it was “wrong” for me embody feminine characteristics. 

My interpretation of feminism became suppressing my sexuality, building my career over starting a family, and fighting for my place at the “top” of the capitalistic hierarchy. In short, elevating gender “equality” meant embodying stereotypical masculine qualities: independent, aggressive, tough, competitive, and so on and so forth. With this understanding, I made it my personal responsibility to promote gender “equality” through my work. 

After graduate school, I spent two years working full-time in yoga — I stepped down because felt as if I should be doing “more” professionally. I transitioned to a short-stint working for a burgeoning company. Then, I independently launched a consulting agency. I started The Julia Sparkman Agency to prove something (to myself). 

After The Julia Sparkman Agency gained traction, I met Alex. Our relationship shifted all of my perspectives. For the first time, being a woman in the stereotypical sense felt good — to be soft, vulnerable, and supported — it is beautiful. For years, I thought I needed to be strong and do it all myself.  It is unbelievably nice to have a man that can care for me, while he simultaneously encourages me to follow whatever path feels intuitively best. 

With that said, today, being a feminist means making informed, authentic choices.

Cultivating my divine feminine energy means giving myself space to feel and to openly express myself. It means appreciating some of the stereotypical aspects of being a female and neglecting some of the others.

Feminism means embracing that my story will differ from other women’s stories. 

Constructing my own understanding of feminism, I personally reflect less on professional choices and more on lifestyle and self-fulfillment. For years, I thought it was crucial that I up-leveled women’s ability to earn and take on similar roles to our male counterparts.

Today, I am less concerned with my title and more concerned with the legacy of my work. As a feminist in 2016, it’s imperative I empower women to make decisions that align with their intuition and to worry less about what others’ think and to trust the outcome of their choices.

The more I can cultivate a space for others to create a life that works for them, I truly believe I am uplifting the lives of both women and men. 

To uplift — that’s feminism. 

Lessons I Learned From Deciding to Move While in Mexico

On the afternoon of Friday, April 1, Alex and I departed from San Diego, California to travel to West LA — we used LAX as our launch pad for our trip to Mexico City.  Prior to leaving, we stopped for two of North County’s prized gems: an iced Americano from Zumbar and a Mozy’s burrito. As we merged into the traffic of I-5, I experienced a twinge of sadness as I watched the surf minimize from the rearview mirror. Paradoxically, that emotion actually made me happy— until that moment, I had never been bummed to leave the place I lived in to travel somewhere else.  

For years, I longed to be aboard every plane I saw trail across the sky. When I began actively traveling six years ago, subconsciously, I traveled to escape. Now, I travel for enjoyment. 

Mexico City gives meaning to the word “sprawl”. By foot, metro, uber, and bike we trekked to a handful of its fabulous museums and sites. We went to the Museo Nacional de Antropologia, Museo Frida Kahlo, Museo Soumaya, Palacio Bella Artes, and the Teotihuacan Pyramids. Each location was incredible and we especially loved all the unique, vibrant neighborhoods (Colonia Juárez, Roma Norte, La Condesa, and Centro Histórico… to name a few). We also ate well and drank A LOT of espresso. Nevertheless, this is not a post about Mexico D.F. — instead, it’s a summary of what I learned from deciding to move on my trip. 

When I left on Friday the 1st, I was confident I would eventually move to Cardiff. However, I had no idea I would call it “home” when I crossed back over the border. Over a late lunch, after our trip to the pyramids, I texted my landlord my thirty-day move out notice for my apartment. Month-to-month leases are amazing, aren’t they?  

Once the text was sent, I felt a rush of positive emotions. The only thing I really worried about was my yoga classes. Even though I did not realize it at the time, I set things in motion for this transition prior to departing. A week before I left, I made the challenging decision to give-up my permanent classes at studios outside of CorePower Yoga. I realized, if I wanted to teach full-time and give 100% to my clients, I needed to teach more classes at LESS studios. Some weeks, I would teach at up to eight different locations. Bouncing all over the city to teach a class or two at a time was NOT sustainable. When I made the decision, I knew I would miss the students and the energy of each space — I did not know I would be setting myself up for an easier transition once I made it back to the States. 

Secondly, I have been a part of CorePower Yoga’s teacher training program for a few years. In December, I decided to take “two” rounds of facilitation off. When the February session of teacher training began, I was sad that I was not slated to rejoin the teacher training staff until the Fall. For a moment, I considered asking to join a summer session — something inside told me not to act. Since I waited, I am now a coach of the Summer Power Yoga Teacher Training team at CorePower Yoga Del Mar. Had I emotionally reacted, I would have spent the summer commuting North to South. And, I would have missed the opportunity to coach with one of my best friends, Kim. 

Therefore, the first lesson I learned in Mexico City was the powerful, long-term impact of my decisions. Making the choice to step away from three wonderful yoga communities and to take time off from South County teacher training was really hard. At the time, it honestly seemed a bit illogical. Now, I understand that some of the decisions I make take time manifest into really beautiful things and I must have faith in their magic as I practice patience.

The aforementioned decisions were made because I trusted my instincts — the second lesson I learned while I was away in Mexico.

If you know me, you know, this is not the first time I’ve moved on short notice. Previously, my moves were motivated by the same thing that prompted me to travel: a desire to escape my present circumstances.

I was/am happy with my life in San Diego. Yes, I taught at a few too many studios, a problem I amended before I traveled. This move was/is powered by an instinctual feeling telling me this is what is best. At times, it can be easy to silence the true voice that lives inside of me, especially when it is telling me do to things that are "risky"  or things that may not settle well with other people. I am happy I listened to the loud whisper of my heart, things are transitioning quite effortlessly and I am blessed to move “home”.  

That leads me to the third lesson I learned from deciding to move while in Mexico City: haters gonna hate and it’s unimportant what anyone else thinks.

It is my goal to keep this paragraph as positive as possible, yet I feel it is important to highlight the naysayers and what they've taught me. First, a HUGE thank you to those who have wholeheartedly shared their love and support. And to those that have proverbially “shitted on” my move, I must also say, THANK YOU. Thank you for being my greatest teacher. Through you, I have learned to THINK before I speak and to try not to place my own doubts, fears, and judgements on others. 

This experience has taught me life moves really fast and it is my responsibility to make the best of it.

It's impossible to tell how the decisions I make today will impact tomorrow, so it is important I listen to my heart and silence the thoughts of others. I've learned, it’s ALWAYS the journey, not the destination. And more importantly, it’s who you are journeying with that makes the biggest difference. 

7 Things I Am Doing to Keep My Spirit Sparked

Pioneering as an entrepreneur has been the most exciting, torturous, confusing, certain, and fulfilling time of my life. Often, I am completely exhausted by day’s end, in a good way. It reminds me of the same exhilarating exhaustion I experience the first six months of living in a new city. That time when you have no idea where you are going or where anything is and something as simple as navigating home becomes a complexity. Nevertheless, in most instances, the magic, the spark, that drives entrepreneurs and intrapreneurs comes from the pursuit of their diverse passions.

The aforementioned sentence is something I remind myself of daily, it is what keeps me inspired to create time and space to pursue what I love. I understand entrepreneurialism is hard-work and being from the Midwest, hard-work is something I love. I’m sure I could “hustle harder” and “be further” than I am right now. Yet, as I venture down the road of pursuing new projects, I am committed to staying true to my heart and I have found it’s the following 7 things that most keep my entrepreneurial spirit sparked:

1. Acceptance of a Non-Normative Schedule

I weigh all seven days equally. For me, I have learned running errands is more efficient midday on a Tuesday and fortunately, I am in control of my schedule, so that’s when I go. Furthermore, I do a lot of my most creative work early in the morning and late in the evenings. And, I often connect with friends midday during the week because that is when it is convenient for me. For awhile, I mentally struggled when I rested on a weekday or worked on a weekend. And now, I am learning to do what supports my schedule best regardless of day or time. 

2. Putting on My Oxygen Mask First

As I write this post, I have other deadlines for The Julia Sparkman Agency and other clients I need to address. I am confident I will complete my tasks; however, I am committed to writing a post weekly for myself and it is Saturday and not finished, so I made this my first priority. 

The Julia Sparkman Agency is not Julia Sparkman. Any entrepreneur or any worker, for that matter, can take the underlined words from the previous sentence and first exchange their place of work/business/startup and then their name. 

To keep my spirit sparked, I must spend time working on my projects.  

3. My People 

My closest circle, the people I spend a majority of my time with, is relatively divergent. I teach private yoga to business executives, a logician, and an artist. My closets friends are wildly successful, pursuing their own things: one runs a nonprofit, another is the Founder/CEO of a yoga subscription box, there is a financial maverick, one dear friend owns a Pilates studio, the list goes on….. Also, teaching at a variety of yoga studios exposes me to a plethora of amazing people. 

Level water seeks level water. 

4. Repeating the Mantra: Discipline Creates Freedom

I am an avid listener of The Tim Ferriss Show. I strive for a utopian of efficiency and optimality, yet I am a free spirit and I love spontaneity. The foundation of all of my pursuits rests upon my disciplined practice of morning meditation, followed by hot water with lemon and eating breakfast. Keep in mind, I have to be at a yoga studio to teach two days a week at 5:30AM. So, to accomplish my routine, I must wake up no later than 4:40AM. 

At first, it was painful (and it still can be depending on what time I go to sleep). However, this simple act of discipline enables me to live the rest of my day more freely (every time). When I first started, I would skip my routine on the days I had early mornings. I did not notice a real shift in my life until I started meditating everyday. I’ve learned, I must start with something I can commitment to, then add on. What began as a five minute meditation is now the best twenty minutes of my being. 

5. Openness

At first, I took a myopic approach presenting my services and identifying my market. As a consultant and creative partner, it is essential I stay open to the needs’ of my clients. Initially, I tried to tightly package my offering and approach and that stifled my creativity. Now, I am finding greater success and personal enjoyment through simply listing my offerings and allowing conversations to natural evolve into a project. I look forward to rolling out TheJSAgency.com 2.0 soon! 

6. Historical Reading

It’s easy for me to get caught up on screens, communicating strictly with emojis and bitmojis, living my life from apps. So, for me, it’s healthy to remain grounded in history and continuously expose myself to literature with the proper English and grammar we lost to the twentieth century. Biographies are my favorite, I am currently reading The Autobiography of Malcolm X as told to Alex Haley — I am finding many parallels and lessons relevant to my daily life. As I build for the future, I find it most helpful to understand and reflect upon history, from diverse contexts and perspectives.

7. Making Health a Balanced Priority

In some way, shape, or form, I move everyday. My diet is a balance of raw fruits and vegetables, burritos, and pizza. I’ve learned, all it takes is fifteen minutes of movement to make me feel good. An hour class is obviously preferred, but if fifteen minutes at home is all I have, it is better than no minutes and keeps me accountable and on track. For nutrition, I literally eat raw carrots and spinach everyday — I crave it. I do my best to eat seasonally, too. I also eat dessert everyday. And, there is not a week that goes by without a burrito and pizza. 

I schedule meditation/yoga/Pilates/running/hiking/time outdoors into my day. If I am not taking time to enjoy life, eat good foods, and move, my work does not manifest the same. Healthy balance is essential to my best performance. 

8. Overachieving

I say I am going to do seven things, then I do eight. Entrepreneurs are entrepreneurs because they want to go above and beyond. I keep my entrepreneurial spirit sparked by continually surpassing my own personal expectations with a full heart. 

Goals, Intentions, and Feelings -- Manifesting 2016

Last Sunday, BuddhiBox Founder, Maxine, hosted a party inspired by Danielle Laporte’s, The Desire Map, for her local BuddhiBabes. Familiar with The Desire Map, I was eager to join. Since October, I have hosted an intention setting workshop called After the Mat. I designed After the Mat to transition the power of intention I found in my physical asana practice to daily living. Practicing yoga from a place of intention allows one to manifest the quality physically — as we invite that framework into our anatomy it is easier to find it within our thoughts and activities. 

To achieve goals, After the Mat focuses on intention — The Desire Map focuses on feelings. For instance, my goal to travel is produced by my desire to feel freedom, spontaneity, adventure, and presence. More than the travel itself, I want to feel those feelings — travel without the feelings of freedom, spontaneity, adventure, and presence would not satisfy me.

The Desire Map inspired me to examine the why behind my goals. What do I want to feel when my goal is accomplished? If the desired feelings are absent, the outcome will feel less meaningful. 

Yoga teaches me NOW is always the best time to start. Whether it is a New Year or a new day or a breath, we can begin to live the life our dreams at a moments notice. And, through my practice, I’ve learned, things are perpetually changing. I cannot expect static goals/feelings/intentions to serve my ever changing reality. Internal and external stimuli tirelessly shift my physiology and ideologies. It is essential I regularly examine and spend time with my goals, intentions, and desired feelings. 

Converging the wisdom I learned from After the Mat and The Desire Map, here is my process of intention setting: 

1. Clear Your Mind

Breathe. Flow through a few round of Sun A. Meditate.

Meet yourself where you are at — if you are tired, move; if you are anxious, move then sit still.  Do whatever you need to do to ground and relax. 

2. Visualize Your Ultimate Desires

What does your dream world, day, job, life…. look like? Imagine your highest vibrating self — what are you doing? What makes you feel most alive? 

Take a few moments to meditate and let your mind run free… Once you’ve explored your thoughts, journal. 

In an email I sent to the After the Mat participants recently, I said, “Journaling is about getting to know yourself and to me, that’s what yoga is, too. In the same way we explore and understand our physical bodies through asana practice, journaling connects us to our thoughts and emotions — it’s “exercise” for our mind and heart.” 

Tangibly explore the thoughts from your meditation on paper. How does it feel to write your ultimate desires? Will you be vulnerable enough to go after what you desire? Give yourself permission to manifest grandiosely. 

I’ll courageously share my part of my vision for 2016 to get you started:

In 2016, I cultivate the incredible relationships I developed in 2015 — while deeply cherishing long-distance relationships with my sisters and friends. I return to my dedicated personal practice. My practice is as important as my professional and personal responsibilities. I attend one spiritual gathering each week. I journal, read, and meditate every morning and evening. 

My yoga-teaching shifts. As I transition away from income-based teaching, I explore opportunities that allow me to teach to disadvantaged groups. At CorePower, The Little Yoga Studio, and Bird Rock Yoga, I share the many lessons I am learning in my life with my students and open myself to learn from them, too.  I write weekly for my personal website and contribute regularly to BuddhiBox, Fast Company, LinkedIn, and NPR. 

I prioritize playtime and constantly seek new adventures. Shelley, Tara, and Curtis come visit me in San Diego and Madeleine and I travel somewhere we’ve never been before (Macchu Picchu?!). I visit Jade in New York, Leeann in Hawaii, and Melody, Stefan, and Jade in Austin.  I take at least one trip alone and one trip with someone I have never traveled with before — and one of those trips will be abroad. I participate in a silent meditation retreat. 

I let go of my need for perfection (and accept that I may eat out more than I cook, and be okay with it). 

3. Identify the Feelings

Examining my vision, the feelings I identified were: 

Prosperous | Purposeful | Loved | Spontaneous

Prosperous: I want to thrive so I can help others to thrive, too.

Purposeful: Everything listed is purposeful. My work, yoga teaching, and writing are all rooted in my desire to inspire. 

Loved: It is my goal to deepen relationships with the people I’ve met in 2015 and visit my loved ones throughout the US and globally. 

Spontaneous: I am incredibly open to how these things manifest and I am excited to experience the journey organically. 

4. Set An Intention: 

Personally, it is helpful for me to have one word that guides my yoga practice. As I sat with the feelings that emerged from my vision, I felt most drawn to purpose. 

In 2016, I am make decisions based on the “Hell Yes” or “No” principle. For far too long, I would agree to things because I thought I “should” do them. This year, I make decisions that support my purpose — my desire to live prosperously with love and spontaneity. 

Take a moment to sit with your vision and your feelings. Decide what most calls to you and set an intention from that space. 

Once you’ve chosen your word, continuously reflect on how you can bring that quality into every aspect of your day-to-day routine. How can you approach the most mundane and complicated task from your intention? 

This post was originally share on The BuddhiBlog. Visit the BuddhiBox Store to find items to support you on your journey of living your intention fully. 

You Can't See What You Don't Know

As the sun was setting last Sunday, my friend Michelle and I stopped for tea at Cafe 976 before taking a casual stroll on the Pacific Beach Boardwalk. Inside the lushly covered cafe, the teas appropriately rested on shelves behind the u-shape counter, in the back corner of the old renovated-beach house, approximately ten-feet, at eye level, from where I stood.

Having trouble reading the small labels on the tea canisters, Michelle walked closer to the counter to read their selection on a different menu. I proudly stayed in the same spot and boasted over my love for carrots and my impressive eyesight, as I read the tiny labels from afar. 

“Earl Gray, Organic Rooibos”…. I got to a word I did not know, “Darjeeling Putabong” — those letters went fuzzy. 

Every other word on the shelf was legible.

It did take a small squint to make out, “New Zealand Sunnyslopes”. However, “Darjeeling Putabong” was practically impossible to read. I walked closer to the counter and phonetically sounded it out. Once I captured the word, I was able to return to my original spot and read it with greater ease.

In that moment, I realized: I could not see what I did not know without shifting my perspective. 

It seems so simple; yet, the phenomena made me question what else I was missing? My faculties did not fail me, it was my ignorance — I could decipher the word once I got close enough to see it. The experience reminded me to continuously pursue new understanding.

Without a change in perspective, it is quite possible I may miss something. It’s my responsibility to seek clarity. 

My reflection inspired the work I do with The Julia Sparkman Agency — anonymous organization-wide assessments of executives and staff for a comprehensive analysis and strategy. As a consultant, I metaphorically walk leaders closer to the counter — I provide a clear, non-biased perspective and actionable recommendations for optimizing. 

By function, leaders’ perspectives are different than their subordinates. In some instances, a leader may “rise the ranks” and have a familiarity with the positions they oversee. More so, leaders are disconnected from their subordinates daily responsibilities — unable to fully comprehend their staffs’ organizational experiences and present needs for obtaining optimality.  

As my aforementioned experience shows, it’s simple, once you know it, you can see it.

Yet, even the most approachable leaders are often shielded from organizational realities — inhibiting their ability to efficiently guide their teams and execute initiatives properly.  For leaders to see clearly, it requires a new perspective and a willingness to pivot and try things differently.